JUNO

I just finished watching JUNO...what a great movie.
Now I'm craving a baby....quick, somebody slap me.

Little Flame

Funny how one person can have the ability to command my entire world with even just a glance.
It takes but one word and I could be sent to the moon and back in ecstasy, or pummelled to the depths of the earth in despair. I have been robbed of free will.
It's not usually a bad thing...but at those times when it is bad, it's heart shattering. Hard to breathe.
I feel like a tea light candle caught up in a sudden hurricane. My little flame struggling to stay lit. Sometimes I fear that the angry winds will win and extinguish it. Leaving me in a cold, dark empty place.
But my wick is strong and I have friends that cup me with their hands and shield me from the wind.
I just have to keep fighting.

Painting under the influence

Sunday night I helped my mom and her boyfriend paint my old room for my little brother.

While Jesse prepped the room, my mom and I went to the store to get some coke and something to snack on.

Halfway through the doors, we decided that we needed beer. We picked up a 24-pack of Bud Light, some Bicardi Mojito's, and a bottle of Boons. The later mostly for laughs.

When we got back home, I decided to make things a little more convenient and fill a cooler with some ice and take the drinks right downstairs.
Call me lazy, but I didn't want to be the one running up and down the stairs all night getting drinks. That's both a pain in the ass and dangerous...

So we got to work painting. Jesse did most of the work...we did help paint the ceiling, and my mom did one of the window frames while I was creating a playlist, and then we got a little side tracked and had our own dance party.
It was fun and I only stepped on a wet paint brush once.

Five Mojito's, two Bud Lights, and almost the entire bottle of Boons later, I was good and drunk and ready for bed.

I so love that I spent Sunday night getting drunk and dancing with my mom.

Even though it resulted in me falling asleep texting my long lost Brent and confessing that he's the best I've ever had...I do miss him...

Satan

Upon telling Leigh about earlier quoted conversation with my mom, she said,

"Satan is too real Candace."

"No he's not. I do not believe there is someone out there making people do bad stuff."

"He IS real and it's people like YOU that don't believe in him that he uses as his playthings."

"Well, depending on the context of that statement, that sounds kind of appealing..."

"You are such a perv!"


It's just the Satan in me.

Cross my fingers...

The night before last, I went to my Dad's house for dinner. I don't go over to his place that often...not because I don't love him, I just get so busy with work or spending time with friends. So on Sunday when he met me at Costco to get stuff for the dinner I was making that night, I offered to come make it for him and the kids on Wednesday. My dad was so excited that I was actually coming over that he called me every day to make sure I was still planning on coming. To be honest, I felt really bad...what kind of daughter am I? My dad's excited just because I'm coming to dinner at his house.

I've been trying really hard lately to spend more time with my dad and to at least call him once a day. I want to have a good relationship with him...there have definitely been times when we haven't gotten along...even lengths of time where we didn't speak to each other. It's not that my dad's a horrible person or anything. In fact, he's a wonderful man. He does all sorts of humanitarian work and he's always put his family before ANYTHING else. And if I need anything, at any moment of the day, he will be there to help me. He's just sort of hard to get along with.

He has a short temper and he's very passionate about everything in his life which makes it hard for us to get along when we have different opinions or beliefs. I was raised Mormon and he has had a very hard time accepting the fact that I no longer go to church or believe in it at all. That has caused many fights...he doesn't agree with my "lifestyle" and I don't really care what he thinks. I do to a degree, but not enough to change myself or compromise my happiness. So we have our disagreements.

That's why I've been really trying to maintain a good relationship with him. And he's been trying too. He doesn't throw a fit if he sees me with a beer when he comes over, he doesn't give me a hard time for my "lifestyle"...he certainly doesn't agree with it, but he has gotten better about freaking out on me.

However, my dad still likes to give me advice which usually turns into a lecture. I got sucked into one after dinner, right as I was getting my stuff to leave. He was going on about how much he worries about me and just wants me to be happy. He told me to never settle for anything less than love and respect. I think he's afraid I'll get married and one day 22 years down the road, I'll find myself in the beginning of a divorce. He doesn't ever want any of his children to go through what he and my mom have been through. I keep assuring him that I certainly don't plan on getting married ANY time soon. But, being a father, he still worries.

I decided to go out on a limb and try to help him understand. I sent him the link to this blog. I have been a little nervous to get his reaction to my very blunt, honest post...how freely I talk about sex. But I feel like, he already knows the things I do so what's the point in trying to hide it from him? I haven't heard from him yet...I don't even know if he's read it. So I'm crossing my fingers hoping he can open his heart and see that I wasn't trying to rub anything in his face...I was just trying to make him understand me a little better. Just trying to strengthen our relationship by showing him that I'm comfortable enough to confide in him and tell him about my life.
I really hope I did the right thing. And I guess I'll just have to wait and find out.

Underage Drinking

At the Diaz house we start em' young!

My mom has un-officially adopted Leigh. Ever since she lived with us for a couple months back when she was still working at Acentus, my mom has fallen in love with her. Now, almost 2 years later, she regards Leigh as one of her own daughters.

When Leigh had Robert nearly 6 months ago, my mom fell in love with him too. She's adopted him as her grandson seeing as I refuse to provide her with grandchildren to fawn over for at least another 5 years. And she insists when he starts talking, that he is to call her GiGi. The name she's decided she wants her grandchildren to call her.

Last night Leigh and Robert came over for dinner. It's always a bit of a fight when they come over for who gets to hold the baby. The rest of my family has taken to Robert as well. My mom won the battle this time telling the kids that they needed to sit down and eat their dinner and for Leigh and I to do the same so our food wouldn't get cold. So we sat down at the table while my mom and her boyfriend sat out on our back deck with Robert.

A few minutes later, my mom was hollering for us to come out and take a look at what Robert was doing. We walked out and saw him trying with all his little might to take a sip of her wine.
We just had to take a picture...it was priceless.

We went back inside and started on our dinner again, and 5 minutes later my mom's boyfriend came in.

"You guys have to come see this."

We walked outside to find Robert passed out against my mom's chest clutching the side of her wine glass.

He looked like he'd drank just enough to give him a good nights sleep.

He'll definitely fit in the family just fine.

Artist and jobless?

Tasteless or Obscene

So here I am again...
I've done the unspaekable...abandoned my blog, after so many empty promises of never doing so again...
My life is crazy and because I haven't been writing lately, I have no proof for you, but I hope you'll take my word for it. Even if it is a lame excuse. But, an excuse none the less. And the excuse I'm going to use for leaving Candyland alone for so long.

As usual, the mental slap in the face for not writing came from my dear friend Sarah. She didn't even have to say anything,not that she would(she's probably given up on me as a writer) all it took was a look at her blog again. Instantly, I felt a surge of sadness and longing for my own beloved Candyland. And a good twinge of guilt.
It wasn't however, until I read her post
Baking without Rlo may result in injury–Injury of others.
and tried to comment and assure Sarah that she's much better off without a husband anyway; that I experienced a much needed blogging reality check.
When I clicked on the link to comment, I was blocked by our inner office website filter and this message popped up across the screen: 'Blocked Content Analysis: Tasteless or Obscene'
I had to giggle and then of course, get by butt in gear and blog.
So yet again, I owe thanks to Sarah, my initial inspiration and the reason I ever even started blogging.
The best friends are always Tasteless and obscene...

The hurt of love

The hurt of love
outweighs happiness-

hurt. being such a foreign
feeling
in love sticks
out
like red wine on
a white dress.

cheeks once full of laughing
color
pale to an ice cold
complexion
as over time the once
soft-pretty face
becomes beautiful stone.

unwilling- maybe even unable to
give emotion.

for why indulge
in the sweet
nectar of love
opening those foreign doors
deep within herself
freely delivering every.
smile. laugh.
intimate secrets.
every - thing.
only to have the doors
slammed shut.

echoing rejection
in
a once perfect world-

wait. take off the rose
colored lenses-

perfection fades
as new love
into cold.
isolating
silence

Winter Wonderland

All this beautiful snow is making me crave hot chocolate and steamy kisses.

Granted, it will turn ugly and brown in the next few days and will be miserably cold, but right now it's so pretty. And catching snowflakes on your tongue, making snow angels, and having snowball wars is what winter is all about. So we might as well make the best of the cold weather. Not to mention it's a great excuse to get close to someone to stay warm. :)

I can't wait to go downtown for ice skating and to see all the lights. And my mission this weekend is to find enough mistletoe to hang up all over my house and the office....

Spread the Christmas cheer :) Go kiss someone...I know I will.

Guess Who's Back...

Me! I'm back and anxious to start blogging again!
I was out of the country for 10 days and have spent this last week recuperating and getting back into the swing of working. So I apologize for my extended leave of absence.

First things first, I was in Cuba...no Internet access there so I was COMPLETELY removed from society for 10 days. It was actually kind of nice. No work, no cell phone ringing off the hook, and lots of daddy daughter time...which was much needed. I intend to give further detail on the trip and some insight into the beautiful culture, but I'm short on time right now. I just needed to post something before I went crazy, and to assure you that I had not given up on Candyland. :)

Keep reading, I promise I'll keep posting. I've missed this. Hope you have too.

Missing Lisa...

I was just informed that my old boss has been reading my blog.

That ignites 2 feelings in me...
1: Happiness. Yay! One more person who takes the time out of their day to read what I have to say. Love the support.
And 2: Panic. This lady used to be my boss...I'm not nearly as professional in the blogging world as I am in the office world...not to mention, she knows all the guys I've written about on this blog...and was able to decypher all the code names I'd given them.

It's a good thing Lisa is such an awesome person. She's never judged me and was the coolest boss ever. In fact, I miss her. A lot. We all hated seeing her leave when she decided to move back home to Texas, and now the office just isn't quite the same.

Lisa,
I just want to say thank you for everything...especially the follow up here on my blog. I'm glad I made you giggle. :)
Oh, and get your butt back to Utah soon! I miss you and baby Autumn.
Love,
Me*

Good enough for Ben

I've been so busy lately, but meaning to write about Ben.....On the topic of possible hairstyles for himself he text me,

"What do you think about a lightning bolt in it?"

"I think it's crazy."

"Like good crazy huh"

"Um...like crazy. But do what you want. It's better than a cross."

"No, I might get a normal hair cut."

"Seriously? So you're going to lose the mullet?"

"Yea I think so"

"Really? What provoked this streak of normalcy?"

"Day light savings time."

"Haha...you're crazy."

"Possible."

"Probable."

"Debatable."

"I'm all out of 'able' words."

"So does that mean I'm the winner?"

"No. It means you're the wiener."

"LOL that's good enough for me."

Gay Night

To make up for attending a Mormon dance club the night before, Friday night I went out with my gay boys.



After downing a Screwdriver and pretending to hump Jakey at his place, we all walked over to club Sound to get our freak on. I wasn't aware that it was Gay Night until we were inside, but we had a blast. Dirty dancing with a bunch of gay guys is a lot of fun. In fact, I've never danced dirtier in my life. You don't have to worry about looking stupid because they're not attracted to you anyway. Which only becomes a problem when you're attracted to them. Why is it that the cute ones are always gay?



Either way, I had a blast with my Fairy Godmother and definitely made up for the other night.

Mo-mo Dance Club

Sadly, yes I attended the Thursday night events at Studio 600...as hard as it is to believe.
My friend Tristan and I have been friends since the 4th grade, so when she asked me to go dancing with her, I couldn't say no.

Sending naughty texts back and forth with Brent was the only thing that kept my sanity intact. Otherwise, there might have been serious side effects.

I'm a horrible friend...

Before I take off for the evening, I'm going to publicly slap myself for being a terrible friend.

It's Sarah's birthday today and even though I've had it on my calendar all year, I completely forgot to tell her Happy Birthday until I read her blog post today...

Sarah, I really do love you...please forgive my bad friend behavior.

Telephone Lines

Talking to people on the phone all day for a living can actually be a lot more fun than it sounds.
I'm not in customer service so if someone's being a real ass, I have the right to return the favor. But the people I talk to are generally pretty pleasant. I get to know people all over the world and it's funny how quickly a relationship can be established over the phone. Especially with someone you've never spoken to before and will probably never speak to again.

I just got off the phone with a very sweet man in Huntington Beach, CA. Even though he's quite a bit farther along the race of life than I am, we had a lot in common. Both love the beautiful mountains but prefer the ocean, neither of us are particularly fond of the cold, and his daughter lives in Sandy. He was a genuinely nice guy and I had him laughing 3 minutes into the conversation. When it came time to say goodbye, I found that I really didn't want to get off the phone. But there were other clients to call, and this post to write, so I told him to have a good evening and drive safe the rest of his way home. In response, he told me to take care, have fun in the snow this winter, and told me that he really enjoyed speaking with me. That I have a great phone voice.



Funny that my old co-workers used to tell me that I'd make a great phone sex operator. Apparently I make a good phone friend too :)

In the Office

I work in a sales office. As I've mentioned before, it's primarily populated by the male species. That being the case, I'm usually volunteered to write on the volume boards. This week, Jeremy's team decided to change their name...

So wrong in so many ways....My team changed our name too...

We're not having the greatest week, so at my suggestion, our name has been changed to "The Disney Princesses" until we hit our goal in volume for a week. (This is great incentive because I'm the only girl on the team...none of the guys are too happy with our new name.)

Upon discussing the reason behind the team names, Jeremy said,

"We're gonna pull it out this week!"

I came back with, "Yea, and us Princesses are gonna get it up!"

It's probably very fortunate for me that the H.R. department stays at our Provo office...

P.S.

On a happier Halloween note, I did carve the cutest little white pumpkin...

Halloween

Last night was probably the worst Halloween I've had to date.
I was in a bad mood all day and I ended up with nothing to do on the eve of my favorite Holiday. My mom tried to make everything special and made a huge dinner complete with Witch's Brew and soup in pumpkins just like she always does. But This Halloween just wasn't the same as last year. Granted, I wasn't puking my guts out from too much alcohol like I was last year, but at least then I had something to do.

I was becoming more depressed by the minute, and all the Trick-or-Treaters were not helping.

I miss the days when nothing really mattered. When all I had to worry about was having a cool costume and trying to get my parents to let me stay up super late even if I had school early in the morning. Running around the neighborhood collecting candy without a care in the world. Now, Halloween seems to have lost it's magic and I hate this sinking feeling of being out of place.

Sometimes growing up really sucks.