Shoes

Another reason to add to the list of why I love Brent. He always reminds me of the little important things in life...

Me: "Hunting is expensive, I've decided."

Brent: "Haha...how so?"

M: "Well you have to buy your tag and all the equipment, and then you're always going to want better equipment, and all that stuff's ridiculously expensive."

B: "Yeah, well, you always want new shoes."

M: "But my shoes aren't hundreds of dollars."

B: "Well, I don't buy hunting stuff as often as you buy shoes."

I sat there for a moment in severe concentration and finally blurted out my horrifying realization.

M: "I can't even remember the last time I bought a pair of shoes....actually, yeah I can it was last OCTOBER for that festival thing I sang at. And I'm pretty sure I didn't get any for Christmas."

B: "Wait, I bought you those boots not that long ago..."

M: "Damn! I forgot. But still, I haven't bought any shoes in almost a year. And besides, you got me those boots in like January or February. I need to get a new pair of shoes!"

Family Reunion

I had every intention of posting twice yesterday to make up for missing Sunday, but after coming back from Brent's family reunion up the canyon so early in the morning; I was exhausted. So we slept a good portion of the day.

The Family Reunion was fun. Turns out I really get along great with a few of his cousins, and his Uncle Lance is a riot.
Brent neglected to tell me that there would be a lake, or maybe I neglected to hear him (he swears he told me) but either way, I hadn't brought a swimming suit. In fact, I'd only brought myself, my purse and my book. So when the whole family was going down to the lake, I couldn't resist. It was blazing outside and the water looked so cool and inviting, so I tied my shirt up in a makeshift bikini top and jumped in.
It wasn't until after my only clothes were waterlogged that Brent decided it would be fun to stay the night.
Luckily people had brought extra clothes, so I ran around the rest of the night wearing his thirteen year old niece's shorts and his eleven year old niece's tank. I wasn't wearing a bra to begin with. The latter didn't mind me at all. I hate bras. But my body reacts to Brent even when I'm not aware of it. I was just sitting there thinking how handsome he is when he got a smirk on his face.

Brent: "Are you cold?"

Me: "No, I'm hot actually."

Brent: "Could have fooled me." As soon as his eyes made full contact with my chest, it got even worse.

Me: "It's like they had to say 'hello' because you looked at them. They like you."

He and his brother thought that was pretty funny. So I'm sitting there with my hands on my chest, trying not to feel too uncomfortable, but it only made it worse. I finally ended up having to go sun myself to cool off. Makes loads of sense I know.

As evening set in I had the dark for cover and we spent the rest of the night having a blast. With his family and without. Talking around the campfire, sitting out under the stars, having a little too much fun, that's a night I'll definitely never forget.

Sexy Time

Dear Self,
You look exceptionally sexy today. I know because I received confirmation of this fact from several people throughout the day. Good job with the haircut, it definitely works.
Now, remember not to become completely enamored with yourself, but I just wanted to give you a quick reminder that you can look back to on those occasions where you feel less than par.
You are a sex goddess! And don't ever forget it!

Love Always,
Me

Girl Time

It's funny how once I get started blogging again I get on a sort of kick. It's almost like a blogging high. All day I've been looking forward to coming home and writing. I had so much fun. It's been a long time since I've spent the entire day with a really good friend; just hanging out and going places and having a blast.
Today I spent with my good friend Gabby. She picked me up at 11:30 to go to my hair appointment with me and it turned into an all day event. I cut my hair even shorter and it looks super sexy so that in itself gave me a major confidence boost. Which, until it happened, I hadn't known I'd been needing so much. It's amazing what feeling a little extra sexy can do for you.

So, after the hair cut, we had lunch and then proceeded to just hang out and have much needed girl time. We went to the pet store and I fell in love with a puppy, up the canyon and hunted lizards (she even caught one and I pet it's little reptilian head like a giddy little kid) and then we hiked up to a waterfall and took pictures.
It was so much fun. And I feel rejuvenated. I'm so grateful to have wonderful friends and for the ability to just let worries go for one day and get lost in innocent fun. And I can't wait to do it again.

Irresponsible

I'd like to say that I live in a swanky high rise apartment in San Francisco or Manhattan with a closet to rival Carrie's in Sex and the City, a super sexy little sports car, and a kick ass job writing for a high end magazine.
Hell, I'd even settle for a not as swanky apartment here in Utah with a regular walk in closet, any car and an internship writing for a not too important magazine.
At least that would be a start. But the reality is, I'm twenty one years old, living with my mom in a sun-room-re-built-to-be-Candace's-with-zero-insulation-making-it-freezing-cold-in-the-winter-and-sweltering-hot-at-this-time-of-year-room. With NO CLOSET. No car. And no job.
I had the sexy sports car, but totaled it last October and still haven't been able to replace it. Due to my lack of a job, which coincidentally reverts back to not having a car. How am I supposed to get to and from work without transportation? Let alone find a job in today's economy. So I'm stuck in this vicious cycle. The epitome of struggling student. Though school doesn't start again for another month and a half.

So I'm sitting at home debating whether to tackle the mound of clothing in my room that needs to be hung in my little brother's closet upstairs, or start painting. I'm leaning heavily towards painting. It's been a few years since I've pulled my paints out and I've been itching to dust them off and get to work.
I think my artistic side is going to win today's battle over responsibility. After all, I AM still living with my mother. A fact that a lot of people would consider a lack of responsibility on my part. So I might as well live up to it and spend the rest of the day irresponsibly creating a masterpiece.
I'll get my clothes under control tomorrow.

Daddy Daughter Time

Today was a bit sad.
I had to leave my baby so early. He can't drive...it's his right ankle that's hurt. So Floyd and Kathy brought me home around 2:30pm. I hated leaving Brent. He's in a lot of pain and I wish I could stay there with him. But I've got school tomorrow so I really had no choice.
I've been reading pretty much since I got home. Except when I went to Dad's for dinner.
I am so happy that we're getting along better. I love him so much. He really is such an incredible man. I still feel terrible for everything that happened when he and mom were getting their divorce.
Mom and I have always been great friends. So it was easier to just not talk to him about anything. So my relationship with Dad...well, it became very bad. We fought all the time...I was rude and immature. Just rnning from the problems rather than sitting down and talking about them like I should have. I should have been there for both of my parents, not just one.
I remember at one point, becoming so angry with him over the phone, I screamed at him telling him never to call me again. That I never, ever wanted to speak to him again.
I still feel so terrible for saying those words. I can't imagine how that hurt him.
But we have forgiven each other and he knows how much I love him. And we now have a much stronger relationship. All that crap brought us closer together.
And I am so grateful that it did.

So, today wasn't too sad...I got to spend time with my wonderful father.
I need to do more of that. Because we really do get along so well. And I know how much it means to him to be able to spend time with his children.
He treasures it. And so do I.

Happy

With all the drama of Brent's foot last night, I completely forgot about something he told me on the way to the party.
We went to lunch with his family- or at least some of his family- yesterday afternoon. Apparently, his dad said to his mom,
"So, Brent wants to take everyone out to lunch...do you think he's got an announcement to make?"
His mom sought him out and repeated what Floyd had said. Brent said,
"No...does he want me to make an announcement?"
And she said,
"Yes. He does. We all do."

I was so excited when he told me that...
I've officially passed the parent test.
His family loves me. And I love them.
I have really never been happier. And I couldn't ask for more.
I can't wait for the day we can make said announcement.
My family loves him too. Even dad has given his approval. Which is monumental. And even though, in his eyes, no one will ever be good enough for his baby girl, he thinks Brent is a great guy and is just glad that I'm finally truly happy.

Sexy Little Gimp

Today started off wonderfully...hot n' steamy-we-could-get-caught-at-any-moment sex with Brent, followed by french toast and eggs. Even when Brent was called into work, I had a blast at home playing board games with his mother and sisters. And when he got home, we all went out for sushi...so yummy!

It was at Gavin & Gadge's birthday party that things turned sour....
The party was held at Jump On It in Lindon. A warehouse filled with trampolines, some angled on the walls and some with basketball hoops. Brent kept putting off getting on the trampolines and when he was finally talked into jumping, five minutes later he was rolling around on the tramp in agony as his right ankle wasted no time in swelling to the size of a baseball. We rushed to the E.R. to get it checked out, and though it's not broken, he was sent home on crutches and a foot brace. The big ugly boot. I feel so sorry for him. I know how painful that is and how ridiculously difficult and bothersome it is to get around on crutches. And how OLD it gets being a gimp.

So, seeing as I do now have a gimp of a boyfriend, I'm going to cut this entry short to go take care of him.
Goodnight!

Day Off

Today was a rather lazy day, but it was much appreciated. I have exhausted myself over the past week. Going to bed at 2, 3 & 4AM and then getting up at 6 to be ready in time for school. On the nights Brent is not here, I keep myself busy reading. And consequentially, I end up not being able to tear myself away from whatever book I'm reading, and staying up until the early hours of the morning. My situation isn't much improved when he's here either. Though I sleep much better with him beside me through the night, we always end up talking and making love and then talking some more until happily, blissfully exhausted, we finally drift off to sleep in each other's arms.

Last night was a book night, but as I don't have school on Thursdays, I slept in until ten. It was wonderful.With the house to myself, I finished my book, cleaned the kitchen, started a new book (Harry Potter and The Prisoner of Azkaban- I'm re-reading the series) and painted. And though I did get rather bored towards the evening, it was good to relax and rest after my busy week.
I also watched Mamma Mia for the first time and absolutely LOVED it! The music is still playing in my head and I'm trying to decide how to persuade Brent into moving to Greece. :) Somehow, I don't think he'll be all that keen on the idea...but it's worth a try right?

So that's about it for today, I'm exhausted again...well after all, it's after two...Got to get up in less than four hours!
Until tomorrow...
Goodnight

Writing Check

All my goals for writing in a journal daily, have just been turned into quite a serious contract. My Writing class grade depends on my thoughts put to paper...and in this case, my thoughts put to Internet.
Although I know, from multiple prior experiences, that keeping up on a journal will be quite a challenge for me, I am grateful for Carolee Stout, my writing professor, for making this a mandatory daily duty. I've let far too many days go by, far too many wonderful life experiences go undocumented. It's high time I put my sexy little butt in gear and stick to my goal of recording my life every day. Not only for myself- though I treasure looking back on what I've written in the past, but for generations to come. For my future children and grandchildren. And for anyone else that comes upon these writings.
I want to have an impact on peoples lives. However small or large that impact may be. If I am able to bring laughter, or provoke thought or inspire in any way, even to just one person, then I will have succeeded.
I have been touched by countless writings and my goal, one of my greatest wishes, is to do the same for someone else.

So on this day, January 14th, 2009 I pledge to work valiantly towards this goal. To keep account of my wonderful life. Day by day building my legacy.

Mother Moon

A few days ago, on my way home from school I noticed the moon in broad daylight, and how big it looked. So when I read online today that the full moon tonight was going to be the biggest the earth has seen since 1993, I was pretty excited. I love the moon. Ever since I was a kid I've loved the moon. It was my first word, and for a good portion of my early years, I honestly thought the moon followed me. My mom still tells the stories of me sitting in the backseat while we were driving at night and hearing my little voice saying, "Mommy, look. The moon's following me!"
So me and the moon, we go way back.

Tonight was made even more special because I attended a full moon ceremony of sorts. My first experience with this was last month, and I can tell it's going to be something we do every night of a full moon.
We go to this Native American medicine woman's house and sit outside around a fire. In the house are laid out all sorts of Native American herbs and bird feathers and a special "sacred" paper that we write things we want to let go of and things we want to bring into our lives. Then we pick herbs by their scent and go outside and offer it to the fire. It's crazy too because if someone writes something down that they're not ready to release or receive, it simply doesn't burn.
Mine burned almost as soon as they hit the flames and sent a bright blaze shooting straight towards the beautiful moon.
It's all very relaxing and a great way to really think about what I want and how I'm going to go about accomplishing it. It's very spiritual too. Last month I was sort of named "Pure Heart" and I dunno, it made a big impression on me.
Tonight, I told her about my nightmares...the nightmares I've suffered from almost every single night for the past four months, and she put together some herbs for me to put under my pillow to bring good dreams. So with this big bright, beautiful full moon in the sky, I'm going to test them out.
Wish me luck! I'm off to dreamland.

My Other Half

As blogging goes, I always end up writing about my boyfriends. Those of you who have read my older posts already know this. So it will come as no surprise that this is yet another post about the incredible man in my life.

Today is our 3 month anniversary. I know, I know, no big deal in most people's eyes but I still celebrate every moment that we're together. In some ways I can't believe it's already been three months since we made everything "official". But in others, it seems like so much longer. That's probably due to the fact that we've been best friends for a little over two years now and we dated a little last year. And even through Darren coming home and my initial excitement and immense love for him at the time, I don't think a single day went by that I didn't think of Brent. Even when I wasn't allowed to talk to him. We connected on a much deeper level than I've ever connected with anyone, in those early months of our budding friendship. And that connection never faded. In fact, it grows stronger every day.

He is my confidant, my savior, my lover, my best friend. My other half.
I have never in my life felt more complete. We have such an incredible equally balanced relationship. We make each other happy. He sees me at my best and my worst and loves me through it all. And I him. It still blows my mind that we wound up together and so happily in love. I couldn't ask for more. I truly love everything about him. I love his family, and his friends. I love his body, his beautiful face and hands. I love his kind eyes and brilliant smile. I love his sense of humor. I love all the little things that go unnoticed by everyone else. The way he flicks his wrist as he packs his only addiction when he first gets in the car. The way he checks his watch. The way he holds things. The way he holds me. I love the way he plays with kids...he's going to be an amazing father one day. And I love the way he treats family. He is one of the kindest, selfless people I've ever known. His love is radiant.
I thank God every day for being blessed with such a wonderful man. Not everyone is so lucky.
I am finally happy. So many people have waited to see me like this. They've watched as I've worked and struggled to keep bad relationships alive. It's so hard for me to let go. But I am so happy I finally did and came to my senses. This is what I've been waiting for. This is it. All the pain and conflict and seemingly never ending battles, were worth it. And I'd do it all again. I don't regret any of it. I'm not even sad about it anymore. The past is past, and made me who I am today. And my reward is so much greater than I ever dared to imagine.

So, on this day, December 3rd, 2008; I'd just like to say thank you babe. For everything. I love you.
Love,
Me*

Newest Addition

I've been meaning to write about the newest addition to my life.





We brought Bailey home on the 21st. She is the most adorable little boxer puppy in the whole world. Brent and I have been thinking of getting a house together, and then we decided that we'd need a puppy to go with that house. But we wanted to get one and have her all trained before we started really looking for a place.
So we started looking for litters of Boxers.
Brent actually found her and we waited two weeks before we could go pick her up. But she was well worth the wait. It was something like love at first second, when I saw her. She's about the size of a football at only six weeks, and she's already adjusting very well for such a young pup.
She keeps her daddy up all night long just like a brand new baby. I sleep right through everything :) Brent seems to think this a little unfair, but I reminded him that one day, a very long time from now, when we have kids; I'll be the one staying up all night...he won't be able to whip out a nipple and let them nurse. So it's only fair that he has to get up with the puppy every two hours so she can go out, and then try to lull her back to sleep when she wants to play for an hour :) Plus, I just don't do cold. And three in the morning in November in Utah, is COLD. And I sleep in a lot less than pajamas, so it would be far too difficult to get dressed at that hour.

It's a good thing he loves me so much :)
But really, Bailey is wonderful...and she's turned us into an adorable little family.

Little Bro

Had to write real quick about my hilariously adorable little brother.

I was getting settled in bed with Brent just a few minutes ago when I remembered that I needed to check the upstairs bathroom for an extra contact case. (I'm not very good at this whole remembering to put them in when I get up, and take them back out, before I pass out, thing) So, in my boy shorts and cami, I raced upstairs to see if we had an extra case.

When I got there, I didn't find a case, but I did find this note taped to the mirror:




In case you can't decipher his horrible handwriting in pink highlighter, it reads:

"Alex, wake me
Jonah up right
now throw some
water on my face
if you have to but
wake me up!!!!"

I giggled and ran back downstairs to grab my phone to capture the hilarity of the moment and post it here. Brent looked at me like I was nutty when I told him, as I was running back out of my room, that I had to go take a picture of the note Jonah left on the mirror for Alex to wake him up in the morning.

I love that kid.

Dear Self

Dear Self,

Once again, I have gotten way too far behind in my blogging. I have been a loser and let you down. Again. But in my defense, I've been a busy loser. Mixing work and school part time with a boyfriend double time, doesn't leave much time for anything else. (Especially when you do all 3 in one day and squeeze in a kick ass football game. GO UTES!) But I do apologize and promise to try and go back and get fully caught up and keep blogging from here on out. I know that sounds like another lame empty promise, but hey, at least I have good intentions Right? Alright, apology in place, I'm going to let you go for now dearest Self.
I'm going to get us Starbucks. We need coffee.

Love,
Me

Look Death in the Face

Today I almost died on the freeway. I was driving up to school from Brent's house and was in a horrific car accident. My goals have been changed. I won't be able to continue excersizing. I can still eat healthy, but I'm laid up in bed. I'm not even typing this right now. Brent is an angel and is doing it for me. I'll post more details and some pictures when I'm doing better. For now, I'm going to rest.

U2 and Ruby River

So yesterday, Brent text me and asked if I'd be feeling up to going out later. I immediately said yes because I love love love spending time with him, so he told me he'd look into a couple things and get back to me. We ended up going to the Gateway. He took me to see the U2 laser show at Clark Planetarium. It was SO COOL!
I love U2 and seeing the songs portrayed through trippy computer graphics in the dome theater was awesome. The whole being there with my Mountain Man, made everything that much more perfect.

When we left the Planetarium, he took me to Ruby River, and I had steak. It was so good. By the way, if you've never been to Ruby River, you have to go. It is seriously the best steak I've ever had in my life. They have yummy sides too. I got a Caesar Salad and a yam. The Yam probably isn't the healthiest thing in the world, but it's definitely better than a baked potato or fries so I figure, I did OK.

So we had a wonderful night. Ruby River holds a special place in my heart now too. A few weeks ago, he took me there for the first time. He had always raved about it and I'd promised not to go unless it was with him. Let me tell you it was worth the wait. Along with the incredible food, we had a particularly romantic evening. They played numerous country love songs, and when we were leaving, "I Can't Stop Loving You" came on. We walked outside, and it was playing over the speakers as we walked hand in hand to the car. Brent suddenly stopped and started digging change out of his pocket. There is a big fountain right outside and he turned to me, handed me a penny, and said, "make a wish!" So, pennies in hand, he grabbed me and kissed me right in front of that fountain under the moon. And while we kissed we made our wishes and flung our pennies into the water. It was so romantic. And a wonderful first experience.

So now, any time we go to Ruby River, I think about that night. How much fun we had, the sexual tension on the ride home, and the relief of it all, into the early hours of the morning.

This is Me. Now.

A few days ago I was going through one of my journals and found something I wrote back in June, shortly after my date with myself in Park City.
When I read it, I giggled and realized that after writing this, I really started to try and find myself again. I've done a pretty good job of it too. I'm in school, have a new job that I mostly love, and I've got a man in my life that inspires me to do more. To pursue my dreams and shows interest in what I want in life. The following is what I wrote almost 3 months ago. The beginning of finding myself. So here goes.

Do you ever sit and ask yourself, "who am I?". I do. And my mind becomes overwhelmed with societal expectations and accusations and misinterpretations and before I know it, I've become lost in the jumbled mess of my mind. And on these occasions I force myself to stop. And think.
Think about who I really am.
Right now, I am a five foot seven and three quarters of an inch tall, twenty year old brunette gone jet black. With eyes the brown-black color of the richest dark chocolate you can find.
I have golden-mocha skin that craves the sun and thankfully doesn't freckle. Well, on second thought, I do have 3 freckles on the bottom right corner of my lower lip...you have to look real hard to see.
I have a big smile full of mostly straight white teeth, framed by soft full lips the color of faded cranberries.
The only plastic surgery I've ever wanted is Otoplasty because my ears stick out a little more than they should. But recent shrinkage of my body has resulted in unwanted breast reduction. So now I wouldn't mind some enhancement. But if I never had anything done cosmetically speaking, I'd be O.K.

Coffee runs through my veins and is my addiction of choice. A good strong Americano is the angel of my morning. Extra shot iced, with hazelnut syrup- no cream.
I prefer daisies over roses and I love butterflies. So much that I have one tattooed to my right hip. That is currently the only ink on my body- Although I plan to get one more and I crave the tickling pain of the whole process.
My soul delights in music, writing, and art. Sometimes I sing too much. Sometimes I don't write enough. My art has gone dormant due to life.
I talk in my sleep. Or so I'm told. Sometimes I wake myself up snoring.
I hate sleeping alone.

I used to be afraid of the dark. Now I revel in it. I love to feel the silky black night around me. Sometimes when everyone is asleep, I climb out my brother's bedroom window to sit on the roof and get lost in thought. The speckles of glittering stars seem to wink and remind me that everything's going to be O.K.

I love my hands. Long and slender. And though they'd be much prettier if I didn't chew my nails, they are what they are and they enable me to express myself through words and paint and charcoal shavings.
The smell of fresh cut grass makes me nauseous. I get goosebumps when I sneeze.
I love to dance in the rain.
I believe in faeries.
Water is my element. Not by Zodiac, but self declaration. The ocean soothes and terrifies me. My favorite place to be is on the shore with the tide tickling my toes. This is where I feel most complete. But my home is in the beautiful mountains.
I love every color. They each have a place. And if I were forced to choose my favorite, it would probably be green. The mother of nature. But I feel most comfortable in black. It's slimming and sophisticated. Though I look positively bangin' in red.

I love all things beautiful. My favorite show on earth is thunder and lightning making love across a dark sky.
My favorite feeling is skin on skin. I'm a nymphomaniac and not afraid to admit it. It's part of the DelVizo bloodline.

My mother's my best friend. I love my family. We're crazy, but that's just the way I like it.
I've never been sugary sweet, I'm more of a bittersweet kind of girl.
I believe in magic and on occasion, I cast a few spells.
I don't believe in organized religion.
I want to travel the world and make a difference. I want to be known. And loved.

I love freely and strongly. I'm a fireball of passion.
Sometimes I pick my face. I'm not very good with dieting.
I have big feet and not as small of a waist as I'd like, but I love my body.

Sometimes I cry. A lot. But mostly I laugh. And as seemingly unattractive as it may be, quite often, if you get me laughing hard enough, I snort. But I promise it's kinda cute.

I love to learn. A total nerd at heart. If you ever can't find me, I'm probably curled up somewhere with my nose in a book.
I'm human. I have a few bad habits. I cuss and smoke. But my big mostly straight teeth are still white. And nothing could change my big smile. Although my lips might not always stay the color of faded cranberries. And my hair probably won't always remain jet black.

I'm a crazy good time and though I'm not the dictionary definition of perfect, I'm perfectly me.

And I'm perfectly O.K. with that.

Fall. My new beginning

So me and my bad habits...I've yet again, neglected my blog. But I can say, in my defense, I have been going through a lot. And I'm happy to say that "a lot" isn't all bad. In fact, none of it is. At the time, I thought my world was crashing down, but you know how they always say, when thinks are hard and you don't understand why, it's because something bigger and better is in the cards for you. Just around the corner. You just can't see it yet. Or something to that effect,that's what they say. Whoever they are.

So,to get you all caught up, I went through a horrible break up that should have happened 9 long months ago. Especially now knowing that Ass Hole was cheating on me. BUT, I am SO much happier now. I never thought I'd ever say that. I'm surprised how fast I've been able to get over that horrific relationship. But I have. And I have my Mountain Man to thank.

He has helped me through everything and been here for me and he's been wonderful. That whole something bigger and better in the cards just around the corner, yeah that's him. I'm just so lucky to have had him so close around the corner. I am seriously the happiest I've ever been. It feels so good to say that and really mean it. I said it for so long hoping that if I said it enough, I might actually believe it and eventually things would get better and I would be happy. But that never happened. And I'm glad it didn't. I do believe everything happens for a reason. I went through an incredible learning experience and now I've been placed into the arms of the most wonderful man I could ever have hoped for. And he adores me just the way I am. We're best friends too which makes everything as perfect as I could wish for right now.

So that's the big update on my life.
I found my new beginning at the most unsuspected time in the most unsuspected way.

Fall.
I fell out of something terrible, right into the most beautiful relationship full of bright vibrant changing colors.
Every day is new and exciting.
Every kiss still gives me butterflies.
Everything is far more amazing than I could have ever imagined.

For most people, Spring has always been the season of new beginnings and rebirth. But I've never been like most people. It only makes perfect sense for my rebirth to be cradled by falls cool-warm breezes and beautiful changing colors. Golden sunlight kissing my skin in a far gentler way than summer has with me. And when those cruel winter winds set in, I'll be curled up with my everlasting sun. My mountain man. His kisses against my skin will keep me warm all winter long.

My dear pink pen.

I was telling the tragic story of my pink pen the other day with the result of many blank looks. No one seems to understand my distress at the loss of my favorite pen.

I'd had that pen since High School. I kept it in my purse at all times. I signed checks and receipts with it and if I ever needed to write a quick note, it was always there.
Until last week. I went to pull it out and found it was missing. At the time, I didn't think much of it, I was sure it had probably fallen out of my wallet to the bottom of my abyss of a purse and I'd just dig it out later. When later came around, I was distressed to find that it was nowhere in my purse.
I hoped it was somewhere in my car or at home. But after searching both I still didn't find it. And then, the next morning while walking into my office, there it was.

Smashed to pieces in the parking lot.

It must have fallen out of my purse on my way to or from my car one day and I didn't notice. So the poor thing got run over.
I'm quite sad about the whole situation. That pen has been my confidant for over 2 years. I wrote poems and odd bits and pieces of songs. That pen helped immortalize my thoughts. And it went everywhere with me. It even graciously accompanied me to Cuba. And now it's dead. I have no choice but to go and buy a new pink pen to replace it.
The pink pen is my signature. All through High School, that's how my teachers identified my work. If there was a name in pink in the top right corner, they knew who it was. Same with yearbook signing. Pink ink was my thing. So, I'll be stopping at Smith's today when I get off work to purchase my replacement. But my old pen will forever hold a special place in my heart.