A few days ago, on my way home from school I noticed the moon in broad daylight, and how big it looked. So when I read online today that the full moon tonight was going to be the biggest the earth has seen since 1993, I was pretty excited. I love the moon. Ever since I was a kid I've loved the moon. It was my first word, and for a good portion of my early years, I honestly thought the moon followed me. My mom still tells the stories of me sitting in the backseat while we were driving at night and hearing my little voice saying, "Mommy, look. The moon's following me!"
So me and the moon, we go way back.
Tonight was made even more special because I attended a full moon ceremony of sorts. My first experience with this was last month, and I can tell it's going to be something we do every night of a full moon.
We go to this Native American medicine woman's house and sit outside around a fire. In the house are laid out all sorts of Native American herbs and bird feathers and a special "sacred" paper that we write things we want to let go of and things we want to bring into our lives. Then we pick herbs by their scent and go outside and offer it to the fire. It's crazy too because if someone writes something down that they're not ready to release or receive, it simply doesn't burn.
Mine burned almost as soon as they hit the flames and sent a bright blaze shooting straight towards the beautiful moon.
It's all very relaxing and a great way to really think about what I want and how I'm going to go about accomplishing it. It's very spiritual too. Last month I was sort of named "Pure Heart" and I dunno, it made a big impression on me.
Tonight, I told her about my nightmares...the nightmares I've suffered from almost every single night for the past four months, and she put together some herbs for me to put under my pillow to bring good dreams. So with this big bright, beautiful full moon in the sky, I'm going to test them out.
Wish me luck! I'm off to dreamland.
Friday, December 12, 2008
Wednesday, December 03, 2008
My Other Half
As blogging goes, I always end up writing about my boyfriends. Those of you who have read my older posts already know this. So it will come as no surprise that this is yet another post about the incredible man in my life.
Today is our 3 month anniversary. I know, I know, no big deal in most people's eyes but I still celebrate every moment that we're together. In some ways I can't believe it's already been three months since we made everything "official". But in others, it seems like so much longer. That's probably due to the fact that we've been best friends for a little over two years now and we dated a little last year. And even through Darren coming home and my initial excitement and immense love for him at the time, I don't think a single day went by that I didn't think of Brent. Even when I wasn't allowed to talk to him. We connected on a much deeper level than I've ever connected with anyone, in those early months of our budding friendship. And that connection never faded. In fact, it grows stronger every day.
He is my confidant, my savior, my lover, my best friend. My other half.
I have never in my life felt more complete. We have such an incredible equally balanced relationship. We make each other happy. He sees me at my best and my worst and loves me through it all. And I him. It still blows my mind that we wound up together and so happily in love. I couldn't ask for more. I truly love everything about him. I love his family, and his friends. I love his body, his beautiful face and hands. I love his kind eyes and brilliant smile. I love his sense of humor. I love all the little things that go unnoticed by everyone else. The way he flicks his wrist as he packs his only addiction when he first gets in the car. The way he checks his watch. The way he holds things. The way he holds me. I love the way he plays with kids...he's going to be an amazing father one day. And I love the way he treats family. He is one of the kindest, selfless people I've ever known. His love is radiant.
I thank God every day for being blessed with such a wonderful man. Not everyone is so lucky.
I am finally happy. So many people have waited to see me like this. They've watched as I've worked and struggled to keep bad relationships alive. It's so hard for me to let go. But I am so happy I finally did and came to my senses. This is what I've been waiting for. This is it. All the pain and conflict and seemingly never ending battles, were worth it. And I'd do it all again. I don't regret any of it. I'm not even sad about it anymore. The past is past, and made me who I am today. And my reward is so much greater than I ever dared to imagine.
So, on this day, December 3rd, 2008; I'd just like to say thank you babe. For everything. I love you.
Love,
Me*
Today is our 3 month anniversary. I know, I know, no big deal in most people's eyes but I still celebrate every moment that we're together. In some ways I can't believe it's already been three months since we made everything "official". But in others, it seems like so much longer. That's probably due to the fact that we've been best friends for a little over two years now and we dated a little last year. And even through Darren coming home and my initial excitement and immense love for him at the time, I don't think a single day went by that I didn't think of Brent. Even when I wasn't allowed to talk to him. We connected on a much deeper level than I've ever connected with anyone, in those early months of our budding friendship. And that connection never faded. In fact, it grows stronger every day.
He is my confidant, my savior, my lover, my best friend. My other half.
I have never in my life felt more complete. We have such an incredible equally balanced relationship. We make each other happy. He sees me at my best and my worst and loves me through it all. And I him. It still blows my mind that we wound up together and so happily in love. I couldn't ask for more. I truly love everything about him. I love his family, and his friends. I love his body, his beautiful face and hands. I love his kind eyes and brilliant smile. I love his sense of humor. I love all the little things that go unnoticed by everyone else. The way he flicks his wrist as he packs his only addiction when he first gets in the car. The way he checks his watch. The way he holds things. The way he holds me. I love the way he plays with kids...he's going to be an amazing father one day. And I love the way he treats family. He is one of the kindest, selfless people I've ever known. His love is radiant.
I thank God every day for being blessed with such a wonderful man. Not everyone is so lucky.
I am finally happy. So many people have waited to see me like this. They've watched as I've worked and struggled to keep bad relationships alive. It's so hard for me to let go. But I am so happy I finally did and came to my senses. This is what I've been waiting for. This is it. All the pain and conflict and seemingly never ending battles, were worth it. And I'd do it all again. I don't regret any of it. I'm not even sad about it anymore. The past is past, and made me who I am today. And my reward is so much greater than I ever dared to imagine.
So, on this day, December 3rd, 2008; I'd just like to say thank you babe. For everything. I love you.
Love,
Me*
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