So I know, I've been slacking on here but I went boating with my sister and her boyfriend and all the kids on Friday and it totally wiped me out for the weekend. We were on the lake for a good seven hours and I got a beautiful scarlet sunburn. So I spent the rest of the weekend recuperating.
Today however, I've been very busy. My mom threw a Fat Wrap party.
I'm pretty sure they're called something else, but for lack of a better term, I'm referring to them as Fat Wraps. The way it works is, you're supposed to pick a place on your body that you'd like to wrap; the wraps themselves have some sort of herbal concoction that's supposed to detox your body and break down the fat cells in that particular area, resulting in losing a few inches off said area.
I wasn't particularly interested in the whole losing inches part, I'm quite fond of my body the way it is. In fact, I wasn't going to do one at all until I heard about the detox part. So, I figured, "What the hell" and went for it. So I, along with everyone else at the party, was measured and then had my stomach all wrapped up for the forty-five minutes until it was time to re-measure. Everyone lost a few inches...everyone except ME. Now, I'm not concerned with my stomach they way it is, but that definitely doesn't mean I want to gain anything in that general area. My butt, yes. My stomach, NO. I was the only person that gained.
I got what's called a "toxic bloat". Of course. Just my luck. Apparently, you're not really supposed to do one of these Fat Wraps while on your period. Something that wasn't mentioned to me until after the fact.
Monday, July 20, 2009
Friday, July 17, 2009
Bittersweet
It's so late and I'm exhausted, but I'm really trying very hard to keep up on my blog this time around. So here I am, at two in the morning, writing.
My Dad just left about an hour ago. We had a wonderful night. I had made a huge dinner- chicken enchiladas, Spanish rice, and my special refried beans- and I'd made a little too much. So I told my Dad that he could come over and get some when he was done with his Rotary meeting. It turned out to be an all night event.
When he got here I still had my iPod going from making dinner. I was on a country kick tonight and have been telling my Dad for ages that I was going to introduce him to some good country. So after I made him a plate, we sat at the table listening to various country songs. Somehow after almost an hour of country, we switched to Michael Jackson; one of Dad's favorites. This resulted in our old past time of dancing in the kitchen...back in the days when we were still a whole family.
Divorce is a terrible thing. I sort of always knew that my parents would end up apart, but at the same time, I never really thought it would happen. I know that doesn't make much sense. I suppose that even though they fought all the time while we were growing up, I always secretly believed that they would be able to make it work. In so many ways they were such a good couple. They just got lost somewhere along the way of marriage, sucked into a terrible pattern of screaming and yelling at each other; often over stupid, insignificant things.
The first time they separated, I was in the seventh grade. I vaguely remember that time in my life. I suppose I've blocked most of it out. Not that anything particularly horrible happened, it was just so hard for me to have my Dad leave the house. I didn't recognize it at the time, but it greatly affected me. My grades plummeted and I just remember being really sad. I was so happy when they got back together.
Unfortunately, patterns always tend to repeat themselves and eventually their marriage was just as bad as before the separation. They stayed together until November of my senior year of high school. They were separated for almost a year before the divorce was final...on my Dad's birthday. My Dad tried so hard to fix things and get my mother back, but by the time they separated, it was too late.
My Dad still tries.
Tonight was bittersweet.
For a few sweet hours, it seemed almost as if history had been erased. Everyone was at home just like the good ol' days and everyone was getting along. Dad and I danced disco in the kitchen, one of our old traditions, and it was nothing short of wonderful. Spinning around and around in his arms, watching the cabinets whirl past me in a blur of happy memories. We danced and sang and laughed and danced some more. When we tired of dancing, we all moved into the Living room and had one of our "family talent nights" just like we used to.
Margarita was over for dinner as well, and my mom wanted to show off all of our talents so the kids all played the piano, I sang, Jessica sang a little bit, and Alex and David did a spur of the moment hilarious duet from Seussical the Musical. Then the kids talked Dad into disco dancing again and he took both Jessie and I into his arms and spun us all around the living room. Mom even got up and danced when we were done. It was wonderful and so, so painful at the same time.
I was surprised to find myself filled with a hope I thought I had gotten over already. I suppose that even though I know my parents are better off without each other, it's still hard not to desperately want them to somehow make things work. I guess that's just part of how divorce works. My parents are both incredible people, they just don't work together very well when they're married.
I wish, so fiercely, that it could be different. I think they both do too. It's sad, having such an incredible family torn apart.
Watching my Dad tonight was hard. Seeing the pain amidst the joy in his eyes at being with his family, but knowing that at some point, he would have to return to his apartment. I imagine it would be something like a little kid at Christmas getting everything he ever wanted, and having to walk away from it all.
It's so hard. Almost too hard to write about. Even though I'm a pretty strong person, I've still been greatly affected by the whole situation. I try to be tough and act like everything's OK. I know I NEED to be tough, not for myself but for my family.
I am so grateful for the magical time we shared tonight. I love my family so much. And I kept it together remarkably well all evening, but now that I'm off to bed; I think it's going to be the first night in a long time, that I will have to fight valiantly not to cry myself to sleep.
My Dad just left about an hour ago. We had a wonderful night. I had made a huge dinner- chicken enchiladas, Spanish rice, and my special refried beans- and I'd made a little too much. So I told my Dad that he could come over and get some when he was done with his Rotary meeting. It turned out to be an all night event.
When he got here I still had my iPod going from making dinner. I was on a country kick tonight and have been telling my Dad for ages that I was going to introduce him to some good country. So after I made him a plate, we sat at the table listening to various country songs. Somehow after almost an hour of country, we switched to Michael Jackson; one of Dad's favorites. This resulted in our old past time of dancing in the kitchen...back in the days when we were still a whole family.
Divorce is a terrible thing. I sort of always knew that my parents would end up apart, but at the same time, I never really thought it would happen. I know that doesn't make much sense. I suppose that even though they fought all the time while we were growing up, I always secretly believed that they would be able to make it work. In so many ways they were such a good couple. They just got lost somewhere along the way of marriage, sucked into a terrible pattern of screaming and yelling at each other; often over stupid, insignificant things.
The first time they separated, I was in the seventh grade. I vaguely remember that time in my life. I suppose I've blocked most of it out. Not that anything particularly horrible happened, it was just so hard for me to have my Dad leave the house. I didn't recognize it at the time, but it greatly affected me. My grades plummeted and I just remember being really sad. I was so happy when they got back together.
Unfortunately, patterns always tend to repeat themselves and eventually their marriage was just as bad as before the separation. They stayed together until November of my senior year of high school. They were separated for almost a year before the divorce was final...on my Dad's birthday. My Dad tried so hard to fix things and get my mother back, but by the time they separated, it was too late.
My Dad still tries.
Tonight was bittersweet.
For a few sweet hours, it seemed almost as if history had been erased. Everyone was at home just like the good ol' days and everyone was getting along. Dad and I danced disco in the kitchen, one of our old traditions, and it was nothing short of wonderful. Spinning around and around in his arms, watching the cabinets whirl past me in a blur of happy memories. We danced and sang and laughed and danced some more. When we tired of dancing, we all moved into the Living room and had one of our "family talent nights" just like we used to.
Margarita was over for dinner as well, and my mom wanted to show off all of our talents so the kids all played the piano, I sang, Jessica sang a little bit, and Alex and David did a spur of the moment hilarious duet from Seussical the Musical. Then the kids talked Dad into disco dancing again and he took both Jessie and I into his arms and spun us all around the living room. Mom even got up and danced when we were done. It was wonderful and so, so painful at the same time.
I was surprised to find myself filled with a hope I thought I had gotten over already. I suppose that even though I know my parents are better off without each other, it's still hard not to desperately want them to somehow make things work. I guess that's just part of how divorce works. My parents are both incredible people, they just don't work together very well when they're married.
I wish, so fiercely, that it could be different. I think they both do too. It's sad, having such an incredible family torn apart.
Watching my Dad tonight was hard. Seeing the pain amidst the joy in his eyes at being with his family, but knowing that at some point, he would have to return to his apartment. I imagine it would be something like a little kid at Christmas getting everything he ever wanted, and having to walk away from it all.
It's so hard. Almost too hard to write about. Even though I'm a pretty strong person, I've still been greatly affected by the whole situation. I try to be tough and act like everything's OK. I know I NEED to be tough, not for myself but for my family.
I am so grateful for the magical time we shared tonight. I love my family so much. And I kept it together remarkably well all evening, but now that I'm off to bed; I think it's going to be the first night in a long time, that I will have to fight valiantly not to cry myself to sleep.
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Shoes
Another reason to add to the list of why I love Brent. He always reminds me of the little important things in life...
Me: "Hunting is expensive, I've decided."
Brent: "Haha...how so?"
M: "Well you have to buy your tag and all the equipment, and then you're always going to want better equipment, and all that stuff's ridiculously expensive."
B: "Yeah, well, you always want new shoes."
M: "But my shoes aren't hundreds of dollars."
B: "Well, I don't buy hunting stuff as often as you buy shoes."
I sat there for a moment in severe concentration and finally blurted out my horrifying realization.
M: "I can't even remember the last time I bought a pair of shoes....actually, yeah I can it was last OCTOBER for that festival thing I sang at. And I'm pretty sure I didn't get any for Christmas."
B: "Wait, I bought you those boots not that long ago..."
M: "Damn! I forgot. But still, I haven't bought any shoes in almost a year. And besides, you got me those boots in like January or February. I need to get a new pair of shoes!"
Me: "Hunting is expensive, I've decided."
Brent: "Haha...how so?"
M: "Well you have to buy your tag and all the equipment, and then you're always going to want better equipment, and all that stuff's ridiculously expensive."
B: "Yeah, well, you always want new shoes."
M: "But my shoes aren't hundreds of dollars."
B: "Well, I don't buy hunting stuff as often as you buy shoes."
I sat there for a moment in severe concentration and finally blurted out my horrifying realization.
M: "I can't even remember the last time I bought a pair of shoes....actually, yeah I can it was last OCTOBER for that festival thing I sang at. And I'm pretty sure I didn't get any for Christmas."
B: "Wait, I bought you those boots not that long ago..."
M: "Damn! I forgot. But still, I haven't bought any shoes in almost a year. And besides, you got me those boots in like January or February. I need to get a new pair of shoes!"
Family Reunion
I had every intention of posting twice yesterday to make up for missing Sunday, but after coming back from Brent's family reunion up the canyon so early in the morning; I was exhausted. So we slept a good portion of the day.
The Family Reunion was fun. Turns out I really get along great with a few of his cousins, and his Uncle Lance is a riot.
Brent neglected to tell me that there would be a lake, or maybe I neglected to hear him (he swears he told me) but either way, I hadn't brought a swimming suit. In fact, I'd only brought myself, my purse and my book. So when the whole family was going down to the lake, I couldn't resist. It was blazing outside and the water looked so cool and inviting, so I tied my shirt up in a makeshift bikini top and jumped in.
It wasn't until after my only clothes were waterlogged that Brent decided it would be fun to stay the night.
Luckily people had brought extra clothes, so I ran around the rest of the night wearing his thirteen year old niece's shorts and his eleven year old niece's tank. I wasn't wearing a bra to begin with. The latter didn't mind me at all. I hate bras. But my body reacts to Brent even when I'm not aware of it. I was just sitting there thinking how handsome he is when he got a smirk on his face.
Brent: "Are you cold?"
Me: "No, I'm hot actually."
Brent: "Could have fooled me." As soon as his eyes made full contact with my chest, it got even worse.
Me: "It's like they had to say 'hello' because you looked at them. They like you."
He and his brother thought that was pretty funny. So I'm sitting there with my hands on my chest, trying not to feel too uncomfortable, but it only made it worse. I finally ended up having to go sun myself to cool off. Makes loads of sense I know.
As evening set in I had the dark for cover and we spent the rest of the night having a blast. With his family and without. Talking around the campfire, sitting out under the stars, having a little too much fun, that's a night I'll definitely never forget.
The Family Reunion was fun. Turns out I really get along great with a few of his cousins, and his Uncle Lance is a riot.
Brent neglected to tell me that there would be a lake, or maybe I neglected to hear him (he swears he told me) but either way, I hadn't brought a swimming suit. In fact, I'd only brought myself, my purse and my book. So when the whole family was going down to the lake, I couldn't resist. It was blazing outside and the water looked so cool and inviting, so I tied my shirt up in a makeshift bikini top and jumped in.
It wasn't until after my only clothes were waterlogged that Brent decided it would be fun to stay the night.
Luckily people had brought extra clothes, so I ran around the rest of the night wearing his thirteen year old niece's shorts and his eleven year old niece's tank. I wasn't wearing a bra to begin with. The latter didn't mind me at all. I hate bras. But my body reacts to Brent even when I'm not aware of it. I was just sitting there thinking how handsome he is when he got a smirk on his face.
Brent: "Are you cold?"
Me: "No, I'm hot actually."
Brent: "Could have fooled me." As soon as his eyes made full contact with my chest, it got even worse.
Me: "It's like they had to say 'hello' because you looked at them. They like you."
He and his brother thought that was pretty funny. So I'm sitting there with my hands on my chest, trying not to feel too uncomfortable, but it only made it worse. I finally ended up having to go sun myself to cool off. Makes loads of sense I know.
As evening set in I had the dark for cover and we spent the rest of the night having a blast. With his family and without. Talking around the campfire, sitting out under the stars, having a little too much fun, that's a night I'll definitely never forget.
Saturday, July 11, 2009
Sexy Time
Dear Self,
You look exceptionally sexy today. I know because I received confirmation of this fact from several people throughout the day. Good job with the haircut, it definitely works.
Now, remember not to become completely enamored with yourself, but I just wanted to give you a quick reminder that you can look back to on those occasions where you feel less than par.
You are a sex goddess! And don't ever forget it!
Love Always,
Me
You look exceptionally sexy today. I know because I received confirmation of this fact from several people throughout the day. Good job with the haircut, it definitely works.
Now, remember not to become completely enamored with yourself, but I just wanted to give you a quick reminder that you can look back to on those occasions where you feel less than par.
You are a sex goddess! And don't ever forget it!
Love Always,
Me
Friday, July 10, 2009
Girl Time
It's funny how once I get started blogging again I get on a sort of kick. It's almost like a blogging high. All day I've been looking forward to coming home and writing. I had so much fun. It's been a long time since I've spent the entire day with a really good friend; just hanging out and going places and having a blast.
Today I spent with my good friend Gabby. She picked me up at 11:30 to go to my hair appointment with me and it turned into an all day event. I cut my hair even shorter and it looks super sexy so that in itself gave me a major confidence boost. Which, until it happened, I hadn't known I'd been needing so much. It's amazing what feeling a little extra sexy can do for you.
So, after the hair cut, we had lunch and then proceeded to just hang out and have much needed girl time. We went to the pet store and I fell in love with a puppy, up the canyon and hunted lizards (she even caught one and I pet it's little reptilian head like a giddy little kid) and then we hiked up to a waterfall and took pictures.
It was so much fun. And I feel rejuvenated. I'm so grateful to have wonderful friends and for the ability to just let worries go for one day and get lost in innocent fun. And I can't wait to do it again.
Today I spent with my good friend Gabby. She picked me up at 11:30 to go to my hair appointment with me and it turned into an all day event. I cut my hair even shorter and it looks super sexy so that in itself gave me a major confidence boost. Which, until it happened, I hadn't known I'd been needing so much. It's amazing what feeling a little extra sexy can do for you.
So, after the hair cut, we had lunch and then proceeded to just hang out and have much needed girl time. We went to the pet store and I fell in love with a puppy, up the canyon and hunted lizards (she even caught one and I pet it's little reptilian head like a giddy little kid) and then we hiked up to a waterfall and took pictures.
It was so much fun. And I feel rejuvenated. I'm so grateful to have wonderful friends and for the ability to just let worries go for one day and get lost in innocent fun. And I can't wait to do it again.
Thursday, July 09, 2009
Irresponsible
I'd like to say that I live in a swanky high rise apartment in San Francisco or Manhattan with a closet to rival Carrie's in Sex and the City, a super sexy little sports car, and a kick ass job writing for a high end magazine.
Hell, I'd even settle for a not as swanky apartment here in Utah with a regular walk in closet, any car and an internship writing for a not too important magazine.
At least that would be a start. But the reality is, I'm twenty one years old, living with my mom in a sun-room-re-built-to-be-Candace's-with-zero-insulation-making-it-freezing-cold-in-the-winter-and-sweltering-hot-at-this-time-of-year-room. With NO CLOSET. No car. And no job.
I had the sexy sports car, but totaled it last October and still haven't been able to replace it. Due to my lack of a job, which coincidentally reverts back to not having a car. How am I supposed to get to and from work without transportation? Let alone find a job in today's economy. So I'm stuck in this vicious cycle. The epitome of struggling student. Though school doesn't start again for another month and a half.
So I'm sitting at home debating whether to tackle the mound of clothing in my room that needs to be hung in my little brother's closet upstairs, or start painting. I'm leaning heavily towards painting. It's been a few years since I've pulled my paints out and I've been itching to dust them off and get to work.
I think my artistic side is going to win today's battle over responsibility. After all, I AM still living with my mother. A fact that a lot of people would consider a lack of responsibility on my part. So I might as well live up to it and spend the rest of the day irresponsibly creating a masterpiece.
I'll get my clothes under control tomorrow.
Hell, I'd even settle for a not as swanky apartment here in Utah with a regular walk in closet, any car and an internship writing for a not too important magazine.
At least that would be a start. But the reality is, I'm twenty one years old, living with my mom in a sun-room-re-built-to-be-Candace's-with-zero-insulation-making-it-freezing-cold-in-the-winter-and-sweltering-hot-at-this-time-of-year-room. With NO CLOSET. No car. And no job.
I had the sexy sports car, but totaled it last October and still haven't been able to replace it. Due to my lack of a job, which coincidentally reverts back to not having a car. How am I supposed to get to and from work without transportation? Let alone find a job in today's economy. So I'm stuck in this vicious cycle. The epitome of struggling student. Though school doesn't start again for another month and a half.
So I'm sitting at home debating whether to tackle the mound of clothing in my room that needs to be hung in my little brother's closet upstairs, or start painting. I'm leaning heavily towards painting. It's been a few years since I've pulled my paints out and I've been itching to dust them off and get to work.
I think my artistic side is going to win today's battle over responsibility. After all, I AM still living with my mother. A fact that a lot of people would consider a lack of responsibility on my part. So I might as well live up to it and spend the rest of the day irresponsibly creating a masterpiece.
I'll get my clothes under control tomorrow.
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