U2 and Ruby River

So yesterday, Brent text me and asked if I'd be feeling up to going out later. I immediately said yes because I love love love spending time with him, so he told me he'd look into a couple things and get back to me. We ended up going to the Gateway. He took me to see the U2 laser show at Clark Planetarium. It was SO COOL!
I love U2 and seeing the songs portrayed through trippy computer graphics in the dome theater was awesome. The whole being there with my Mountain Man, made everything that much more perfect.

When we left the Planetarium, he took me to Ruby River, and I had steak. It was so good. By the way, if you've never been to Ruby River, you have to go. It is seriously the best steak I've ever had in my life. They have yummy sides too. I got a Caesar Salad and a yam. The Yam probably isn't the healthiest thing in the world, but it's definitely better than a baked potato or fries so I figure, I did OK.

So we had a wonderful night. Ruby River holds a special place in my heart now too. A few weeks ago, he took me there for the first time. He had always raved about it and I'd promised not to go unless it was with him. Let me tell you it was worth the wait. Along with the incredible food, we had a particularly romantic evening. They played numerous country love songs, and when we were leaving, "I Can't Stop Loving You" came on. We walked outside, and it was playing over the speakers as we walked hand in hand to the car. Brent suddenly stopped and started digging change out of his pocket. There is a big fountain right outside and he turned to me, handed me a penny, and said, "make a wish!" So, pennies in hand, he grabbed me and kissed me right in front of that fountain under the moon. And while we kissed we made our wishes and flung our pennies into the water. It was so romantic. And a wonderful first experience.

So now, any time we go to Ruby River, I think about that night. How much fun we had, the sexual tension on the ride home, and the relief of it all, into the early hours of the morning.

This is Me. Now.

A few days ago I was going through one of my journals and found something I wrote back in June, shortly after my date with myself in Park City.
When I read it, I giggled and realized that after writing this, I really started to try and find myself again. I've done a pretty good job of it too. I'm in school, have a new job that I mostly love, and I've got a man in my life that inspires me to do more. To pursue my dreams and shows interest in what I want in life. The following is what I wrote almost 3 months ago. The beginning of finding myself. So here goes.

Do you ever sit and ask yourself, "who am I?". I do. And my mind becomes overwhelmed with societal expectations and accusations and misinterpretations and before I know it, I've become lost in the jumbled mess of my mind. And on these occasions I force myself to stop. And think.
Think about who I really am.
Right now, I am a five foot seven and three quarters of an inch tall, twenty year old brunette gone jet black. With eyes the brown-black color of the richest dark chocolate you can find.
I have golden-mocha skin that craves the sun and thankfully doesn't freckle. Well, on second thought, I do have 3 freckles on the bottom right corner of my lower lip...you have to look real hard to see.
I have a big smile full of mostly straight white teeth, framed by soft full lips the color of faded cranberries.
The only plastic surgery I've ever wanted is Otoplasty because my ears stick out a little more than they should. But recent shrinkage of my body has resulted in unwanted breast reduction. So now I wouldn't mind some enhancement. But if I never had anything done cosmetically speaking, I'd be O.K.

Coffee runs through my veins and is my addiction of choice. A good strong Americano is the angel of my morning. Extra shot iced, with hazelnut syrup- no cream.
I prefer daisies over roses and I love butterflies. So much that I have one tattooed to my right hip. That is currently the only ink on my body- Although I plan to get one more and I crave the tickling pain of the whole process.
My soul delights in music, writing, and art. Sometimes I sing too much. Sometimes I don't write enough. My art has gone dormant due to life.
I talk in my sleep. Or so I'm told. Sometimes I wake myself up snoring.
I hate sleeping alone.

I used to be afraid of the dark. Now I revel in it. I love to feel the silky black night around me. Sometimes when everyone is asleep, I climb out my brother's bedroom window to sit on the roof and get lost in thought. The speckles of glittering stars seem to wink and remind me that everything's going to be O.K.

I love my hands. Long and slender. And though they'd be much prettier if I didn't chew my nails, they are what they are and they enable me to express myself through words and paint and charcoal shavings.
The smell of fresh cut grass makes me nauseous. I get goosebumps when I sneeze.
I love to dance in the rain.
I believe in faeries.
Water is my element. Not by Zodiac, but self declaration. The ocean soothes and terrifies me. My favorite place to be is on the shore with the tide tickling my toes. This is where I feel most complete. But my home is in the beautiful mountains.
I love every color. They each have a place. And if I were forced to choose my favorite, it would probably be green. The mother of nature. But I feel most comfortable in black. It's slimming and sophisticated. Though I look positively bangin' in red.

I love all things beautiful. My favorite show on earth is thunder and lightning making love across a dark sky.
My favorite feeling is skin on skin. I'm a nymphomaniac and not afraid to admit it. It's part of the DelVizo bloodline.

My mother's my best friend. I love my family. We're crazy, but that's just the way I like it.
I've never been sugary sweet, I'm more of a bittersweet kind of girl.
I believe in magic and on occasion, I cast a few spells.
I don't believe in organized religion.
I want to travel the world and make a difference. I want to be known. And loved.

I love freely and strongly. I'm a fireball of passion.
Sometimes I pick my face. I'm not very good with dieting.
I have big feet and not as small of a waist as I'd like, but I love my body.

Sometimes I cry. A lot. But mostly I laugh. And as seemingly unattractive as it may be, quite often, if you get me laughing hard enough, I snort. But I promise it's kinda cute.

I love to learn. A total nerd at heart. If you ever can't find me, I'm probably curled up somewhere with my nose in a book.
I'm human. I have a few bad habits. I cuss and smoke. But my big mostly straight teeth are still white. And nothing could change my big smile. Although my lips might not always stay the color of faded cranberries. And my hair probably won't always remain jet black.

I'm a crazy good time and though I'm not the dictionary definition of perfect, I'm perfectly me.

And I'm perfectly O.K. with that.

Fall. My new beginning

So me and my bad habits...I've yet again, neglected my blog. But I can say, in my defense, I have been going through a lot. And I'm happy to say that "a lot" isn't all bad. In fact, none of it is. At the time, I thought my world was crashing down, but you know how they always say, when thinks are hard and you don't understand why, it's because something bigger and better is in the cards for you. Just around the corner. You just can't see it yet. Or something to that effect,that's what they say. Whoever they are.

So,to get you all caught up, I went through a horrible break up that should have happened 9 long months ago. Especially now knowing that Ass Hole was cheating on me. BUT, I am SO much happier now. I never thought I'd ever say that. I'm surprised how fast I've been able to get over that horrific relationship. But I have. And I have my Mountain Man to thank.

He has helped me through everything and been here for me and he's been wonderful. That whole something bigger and better in the cards just around the corner, yeah that's him. I'm just so lucky to have had him so close around the corner. I am seriously the happiest I've ever been. It feels so good to say that and really mean it. I said it for so long hoping that if I said it enough, I might actually believe it and eventually things would get better and I would be happy. But that never happened. And I'm glad it didn't. I do believe everything happens for a reason. I went through an incredible learning experience and now I've been placed into the arms of the most wonderful man I could ever have hoped for. And he adores me just the way I am. We're best friends too which makes everything as perfect as I could wish for right now.

So that's the big update on my life.
I found my new beginning at the most unsuspected time in the most unsuspected way.

Fall.
I fell out of something terrible, right into the most beautiful relationship full of bright vibrant changing colors.
Every day is new and exciting.
Every kiss still gives me butterflies.
Everything is far more amazing than I could have ever imagined.

For most people, Spring has always been the season of new beginnings and rebirth. But I've never been like most people. It only makes perfect sense for my rebirth to be cradled by falls cool-warm breezes and beautiful changing colors. Golden sunlight kissing my skin in a far gentler way than summer has with me. And when those cruel winter winds set in, I'll be curled up with my everlasting sun. My mountain man. His kisses against my skin will keep me warm all winter long.

My dear pink pen.

I was telling the tragic story of my pink pen the other day with the result of many blank looks. No one seems to understand my distress at the loss of my favorite pen.

I'd had that pen since High School. I kept it in my purse at all times. I signed checks and receipts with it and if I ever needed to write a quick note, it was always there.
Until last week. I went to pull it out and found it was missing. At the time, I didn't think much of it, I was sure it had probably fallen out of my wallet to the bottom of my abyss of a purse and I'd just dig it out later. When later came around, I was distressed to find that it was nowhere in my purse.
I hoped it was somewhere in my car or at home. But after searching both I still didn't find it. And then, the next morning while walking into my office, there it was.

Smashed to pieces in the parking lot.

It must have fallen out of my purse on my way to or from my car one day and I didn't notice. So the poor thing got run over.
I'm quite sad about the whole situation. That pen has been my confidant for over 2 years. I wrote poems and odd bits and pieces of songs. That pen helped immortalize my thoughts. And it went everywhere with me. It even graciously accompanied me to Cuba. And now it's dead. I have no choice but to go and buy a new pink pen to replace it.
The pink pen is my signature. All through High School, that's how my teachers identified my work. If there was a name in pink in the top right corner, they knew who it was. Same with yearbook signing. Pink ink was my thing. So, I'll be stopping at Smith's today when I get off work to purchase my replacement. But my old pen will forever hold a special place in my heart.

The Gardella Vampire Chronicles

I have a confession to make. I'm a bit on the weird side...I love Vampire novels. So when my mom brought home the latest in our favorite series, I devoured it in one day. Yesterday in fact. Yes, while I was neglecting Candyland I was reading a juicy Vampire book. I simply couldn't put it down. If anyone is ever looking for a new series to read, I highly suggest Colleen Gleason's Gardella Vampire Chronicles. They are so good.

Whenever I read, I find myself sympathizing with one of the characters. I think we all do that, but I really feel some strong similarities between Victoria Gardella, AKA new Leader of the Vampire Hunters, and myself. Even though I may not have strong Venator blood running through my veins, I feel very much like Victoria. Sounds cheesy I know, but truly, it isn't.

I especially loved this particular passage. It forcefully reminded me of ,myself. What I crave in a relationship.

"She was a woman....a woman who liked to be touched, who enjoyed being reminded that she was desirable...he made her feel. He'd brought pleasure to a life that had once been so simple, so normal and easy and bland...with his irrepressible charm and unabashed flirtation, Sebastian made her heart beat faster and her body reawaken..."

Devil Shoes

In my search for something to wear this morning, I decided to steal my sister's cute pink tank because it looked adorable with my flower bra straps.
When I came upstairs, she offered to let me borrow her pink sparkly Jelly shoes too, so I ran back downstairs, dug them out and put them on.
Only problem, her feet are smaller than mine. I figured, what the hell, they're Jellies, they stretch. I'll be totally fine to wear them.

Wrong. Those shoes are of the Devil.

After 2 hours of prancing around in the damn things, my feet felt like they were going to fall off. I forgot how uncomfortable Jellies are even when they're your size. I think poking myself repeatedly in the eyeball would have been more comfortable. So as cute as they are, I finally ditched them and have been running around my office barefoot.





I guess it's a good idea I brought a back-up pair of pink sparkly flip flops in my car. I don't think I'd last even one minute traipsing around the arts festival in these.

Back in Heels!

I just had to post this picture as proof that I'm almost completely healed. :)
When I put this dress on yesterday, I absolutely HAD to wear my cute red heels. I know I should probably stay in flip flops for another week, but I just couldn't resist.
When my chiropractor started to scold me for wearing them, I explained to him that it would have been completely unethical not to wear heels with this dress. He even agreed that the heels did make the outfit.
And they made my day. I felt nothing short of adorable. I've so missed wearing heels. I was made for heels. And the excessive pain in my ankle is totally worth it.

Pucker up your lips...

In my family we ALWAYS kiss each other. Whether we're leaving to go to the store, or work, or just saying goodnight. Some people find that kind of weird, but that's just how we are. It's the Spanish culture. :)
So last night, it really wouldn't have been all that weird puckering up my lips waiting for my 16 year old brother to give me a kiss goodnight...until he opened his big mouth...not that way you pervert.

"Your lips are huge..like as big as Will Smith's."

"You're weird."

"No really. And have you seen that poster for Hancock? His lips look like...steak."

"Are you saying my lips look like steak?"

"No. Will Smith's do."

"Uh-huh..."

"Your lips just look like his. Or they're as big as his when you pucker them up."

"So you're saying my lips look good enough to eat."

"No..."

"You're ridiculous."

Wanna swim?

I just got back home from swimming with my mom and the boys. And by swimming I certainly don't mean anything crazy like fully submerging myself in water or anything like that. Don't get me wrong, I love water. And on occasion, if it's hot enough, I'll get in the pool, but in Utah, the water is generally just too damn cold for that shit. So by swimming, I mean laying out in the sun at the local vicinity which houses a pool.

After nachos, hot dogs, and a smoothie, we were becoming exceptionally hot, so my mom and I ventured down to the poolside to stick our feet in and cool off. We got quite a bit cooler than either of us had anticipated. We were soon hollering at my brothers,

"No splashing!
No kicking!
No Swimming!
No diving!
No moving!"

We were half joking. At least about the swimming part, but when Jonah scooped up half the pool with his arm and covered me in it, I decided it was probably best to just stick to the chair.

Even though I ended up a lot wetter than I had originally planned, I had a lot of fun. I haven't been to the pool like that in a couple years. And I think I'm going to make a habit of going. It was nice and relaxing, which is exactly what I need right now.

Show me your "O" face...

You know that frantic, almost desperate feeling you get when you're just about to reach your "O" during sex? When it's right there, just beyond your grasp, and if you can just hold on and focus for just a few more seconds you'll be golden. Your heart rate is at a record high and your breathing quickens and before you know it, you're making the face. You know what face I'm talking about. The big "OH MY GOD" face.

I know the face all too well.... I've never actually pulled out my compact in the middle of intercourse to have a good look at my face during climax, but I do know the feelings that go along with it.

So I couldn't help but laugh and take a picture when Robert stared displaying the same behavior, when I put a cookie in front of his face. For me it's sex, for Robert, it's cookies. I wish a cookie could get me that excited. But then sitting here staring at this package of cookies, might leave my chair a mess. And that's not something I'd like to explain to the janitorial staff..."Well, you see, cookies get me...excited..."
I suppose they're sort of close to the same thing, both "packages", both filled with cream...I'm going to stop now before I start having erotic daydreams. I'd really like to keep my chair clean.

I'll just stick to giggling at this picture of Robert.



Funny how life works...15 months ago, Leigh was making this same face, while unknowingly making Robert. She got a pretty sweet deal if you ask me...he's the damn cutest baby. And looks good enough to eat.
Damn...there goes the baby hunger again.

Samantha

We're sitting here in the office discussing how great Sex and the City was, and how hot Samantha is. She really is bangin'. I hope I look that good when I'm 50.

My Greatest Vice

Remember me telling Jade that I needed to invest into some cute flip flops? Well, I think I may have overdone it just a bit.
My mom and I ran to the store to pick up some snacks for her boyfriend. (He's leaving for Tahoe in about 15 minutes.)But on the way to the store, we stopped at Shopko to get some flip flops.
When we got there we had quite a pleasant surprise...they were ALL on sale! So we went crazy. Seven pairs later, we were walking back to the car.
I can't help it. I have a certain weakness for shoes. All shapes, sizes and colors. I LOVE shoes. And seeing as I am condemned to wearing flip flops, I feel completely justified in our little splurge.



Some people turn to drugs to make them feel better, I turn to shoes. And clothing, and accessories, and lip gloss, and cute little quotable cards. But I figure, if shopping is my greatest vice, I'm really not doing all that bad.

P. S.

My cutest toes!

Walking Main

My day has only gotten better.
After checking out of the hotel, I drove to Main Street. I was a little apprehensive at first, I never go anywhere completely alone. Hell, I don't even like going to the grocery store by myself. But I was in Park City to spend time with myself, so I paid for 3 hours of parking and set off down the street.
The first place I stopped was a little cafe style restaurant and for the very first time in my life, I sat down to have lunch by myself. It was definitely weird. Sitting at a table outside on Main all alone. But it was nice, and I feel like I've conquered something inside me. Part of my fear of being alone is gone.

When I was finished eating I thanked my Waiter and continued on up the road. I accidentally stumbled into this little candy shop and was more than excited when I discovered that they sold Razzles. I LOVE Razzles. And I can't find them ANYWHERE. So I stocked up.



From finding Razzles, I went to finding my favorite bookstore up there. I should never be allowed into a bookstore period. Let alone by myself. Although if I ever am alone, Barnes & Noble is the first place I head to. But back to the point. I go crazy in bookstores. I love words. So I tend to want to buy everything I see. And I'm a sucker for cards. This particular bookstore has an awesome card selection. So, 40 minutes and 50 dollars later, I walked out of that store with a bag of cards, magnets, a journal, and pineapple chapstick.



I almost started down the street again when I saw some kids walking out of the adjoining chocolate shop with ice cream cones...and I decided I HAD to have one. So I turned around and marched right back and up to the ice cream counter. After much internal debate, I decided on Pink Bubblegum. I hadn't had a pink bubblegum ice cream cone since I was a little girl. So when I ventured out onto the street again, it was with my pink bubblegum cone in hand and a huge grin on my face. The silliness of it all combined with creamy cold bubble gum flavor bursting across my taste buds, put me into the best mood I've been in, in a long time. The brief trip back to childhood innocence was refreshing. And for 10 minutes, I was a little girl again. I was quite a site. Hair in big flowy curls, sexy sunglasses, darling blue and white striped old fashioned tube top with a blue ribbon around my neck. And a big pink bubblegum ice cream cone. I felt like I had just walked out of a 1950's movie.

After finishing my ice cream, I went to a few more shops. Including the Mountain Body Spa for a hand treatment. When I had visited every shop on my mental list, and then some, I headed back to my car just in time for the meter to go out. I had done it. Three hours alone on Main in Park City. And I had genuinely enjoyed myself.

On my way back down to the freeway, these guys in the truck next to me were flirting with me mercilessly. It was flattering, and when we stopped at a light and they rolled their window down, the first thing they asked me was if I was married. I told them no, but I was taken. They told me what a lucky guy my boyfriend was and that I was beautiful. It made me feel great...especially because I'm single.

I'm now sitting on my couch writing before I leave to meet up with all the girls for dinner and Sex and the City. I just got a pedicure, and that coupled with my super cute new skirt, have me feeling hot and ready for a girls night out. It's bound to be packed full of juicy gossip and sex stories...I can't wait!

Today has proven to be one of the best in my life so far. I feel rejuvenated. Like I know myself more. And I can't wait to keep discovering this happiness inside myself.

Me Time

This whole staying in a hotel all by myself thing, turned out to be kind of fun.
I'm here alone in my room having a blast getting ready to check out. I slept in till 10 and have taken my time getting fully awake. I turned some music on nice and loud and hopped in to take the longest shower in human history. Complete with singing and dancing. Which I can do without feeling like an idiot because, NO ONE is here but me! It's wonderful.
I'm really having a great time getting ready by myself this morning.

After drying my hair, I decided to curl it. If I'm going to be walking up and down Main Street I better look cute. So I'm sitting here in a bikini top and shorts waiting for my curlers to cool, jammin out to iTunes. And I'm happy. So far, this day of being by myself is off to a good start.




Bring it on Park City! I feel so good right now, I could take on the world!

I had both Ben and Jerry inside me at the same time...

And it was creamy and dreamy...
The 2 men that can always, no matter how terrible a day I'm having, ALWAYS make me feel better. Their sinfully creamy, yummy, gooey-nes, filling me up as I close my eyes in blissful delight. Chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream you pervert.
Best damn stuff on the planet.

Pigs

I hate cops.

I'm up in Park City for the night...all by myself. My Dad booked me a room at the Marriott so I could spend some time away alone. Just to think about things...what I want in life...all that jazz. So I started my "me" time yesterday.

Last night I went and had my Chakras balanced. Got my energies aligned. I took work off today so I could go get a massage and then and then spend the day doing "Me" stuff until I got up here. I was having a wonderful day until about 30 minutes ago.

I decided it would probably be a good idea for me to get dinner. I hadn't eaten since 12. The hotel restaurant is closed so I decided to order pizza from Davanzas. My absolute FAVORITE pizza place in Utah. I planned to just have it delivered...I was already in my PJ's and didn't really feel like going anywhere. But the delivery boy had just left for the night so I was forced to put my clothes back on and venture out of my room.
I stopped at the 7-11 on the corner and picked up a bunch of junk food...if I'm going to be by myself, I need feel good food. Upon leaving the sev, about a minute after I got onto the road, the motorcycle behind me turned on his lights and pulled me over.
I was really confused. I wasn't speeding, I hadn't cut anyone off, and I had made sure to buckle up. The bastard got off his bike and sauntered over to me.

"Do you know why I'm pulling you over?"

"No, actually I don't."

"You cut me off. Did you even see me?"

"Not until you were right up behind me."

"Well that's how us guys on bikes get killed. People like you that don't look. Do you have your licence?"

I handed him my licence and waited. I can't get another ticket...I'm on probation. I thought he might give me a break, but fifteen minutes later he came walking back to my car with a ticket in his hand.

"I'm giving you a ticket for Failure to yield to a person with right of way."

I closed my eyes...it took all my self control to refrain from using the stream of profanities threatening to burst from my mouth.

"Are you OK?" (shines his light in my face)"you look like you're falling asleep at the wheel."

"No, I'm fine. I'm just upset because I don't need another ticket."

"What do you mean you don't need another ticket?"

"I mean my dad's going to kill me."

"Why? Have you had a ticket recently?

"No."

"Then why do you not need another ticket? You say that like you've had one recently."

"No I haven't had one recently."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes I'm sure!"

We argued for a few more minutes on whether or not I was sure that I hadn't had a ticket recently. Like it's any of his fucking business anyway. I have to say, I'm pretty proud of myself for keeping my cool through all of his harassment. I saved "cock-sucking-mother-fuckin-son-of-a-bitch!!!" until I was driving away. Somehow, I think that exchange of words might have landed me in cuffs. He was already treating me like some sort of hard criminal.
Thing that kills me though, is I really, truly, honest to God, did not do anything wrong. He was just a jerk.

Gimp Update

My leg looks worse every day.
It's not nearly as fat as it used to be, but now it's changing color at an alarming rate. I'm starting to think I preferred a fat heffer leg over the zombie one it's been replaced with. This is SO not convenient for the summer weather. I'm all about skirts and heels.

If anyone knows a remedy for these nasty bruises, let me know. Those cute red heels I bought yesterday are begging for my feet. And I'm dying to have my sexy legs back.

JUNO

I just finished watching JUNO...what a great movie.
Now I'm craving a baby....quick, somebody slap me.

Little Flame

Funny how one person can have the ability to command my entire world with even just a glance.
It takes but one word and I could be sent to the moon and back in ecstasy, or pummelled to the depths of the earth in despair. I have been robbed of free will.
It's not usually a bad thing...but at those times when it is bad, it's heart shattering. Hard to breathe.
I feel like a tea light candle caught up in a sudden hurricane. My little flame struggling to stay lit. Sometimes I fear that the angry winds will win and extinguish it. Leaving me in a cold, dark empty place.
But my wick is strong and I have friends that cup me with their hands and shield me from the wind.
I just have to keep fighting.